I need to try something new

 I look back at my journey over the past 5 or so years and being able to look back at my journey as a photographer, but I am ready to start fresh with something a little more relaxed and personal, something a little more like me.   

Since I started doing weddings I have struggled with being an honest artist and having a wedding business.  For too long, I felt like I had to hide my other life for fear of judgement.  I thought if people saw my art, they would see to much of me, and maybe that would stop them from hiring me.  I  got caught up in the loud industry noise that surrounds weddings and I let it dictate the way I was working.  I was feeling frustrated and being pulled in the wrong direction.  I started comparing myself to people I am nothing like.  

The first wedding I ever photographed was in a park.  It was laid back.  There wasn't much structure and I was free to do whatever i wanted.  I am still proud of those images.  I remember the way I felt when I was shooting them.  I let the excitement and beauty of the day guide the images I took.

I didn't put my camera down when I think I got the shot, because I knew it was the in between moments that were the ones that really captured the feeling of the day.    

People always say, do what you love and the right people will come to you, but the fear inside me didn't allow me to understand what that truly meant.  I love to be outside, I want to be around a close, small groups of people, I want love to be the most important part of the day,  I want to be around people who understand that.  They want hug, cause they want to, not because I told them to.  I love when I capture a feeling.  I love when a picture tells a story.  I love to experiment, I love being  in tune with my trusty gut.     

This is my new blog.  It's simple, easy to update, it looks nice, it fits cozy inside of my website.  I am going to try it this way for awhile.  It's time for a little change.  Expect more of me here, after a few years of introspect and growth I am ready to open up again...I think.  I spent a lot of my first few years as a photographer trying sift through what I thought I was supposed to do.  Everything was a learning experience.  I finally feel comfortable and confident in what I want to do.   

I wake up every day excited to work.   There isn't a day that goes by that I dont get excited from an idea.  I made the decision to commit.  I worked out a schedule where I have time to feed my art and to feed myself.  I am not rich, but I am happy.  I am fulfilled.  My studio is a mess, laundry is piled high, but ideas are plentiful.  Inspiration is intoxicating.