Sometimes I get lost

Sometimes I get a little lost.  I get a little lost from me, the me that I know I am and the me that I want to be.   I am mega hard on myself.  I compare myself to others who I am nothing like.  Sometimes I feel like I am reaching for something that doesn't even matter to me because I think it is what  I am supposed to do.  Sometimes I just need to  retreat, to return to that place in my heart where MY fire burns, where MY passion comes from, to get back to Me.

I am a wild child of the night, I am a dreamer.  I am a head banging hippy who loves a good time.   My life is full of contradictions.  I like to explore as many options as possible before I make a decision.   I think, and I dwell.  I try not to judge, but sometimes it happens and then I feel like shit afterwards.  I live for butterflies in my belly.  I fantasize about people I see in public, I make believe their life is a lot more exciting than it probably is.  I am super sensitive, though at times I pretend like I am a hard ass to disguise it.  I really worry about lonely people.  I would rather be happy than rich.  I like when people feel good about themselves, it makes me feel good.  I believe everyone has a talent, a special something they were meant to do.  I admire people who take risks and fight for their dreams.  I  love to remember the past, but only the good parts, the rest I have learned to forget.  I can sit in silence for hours, I actually enjoy it.  I am inspired by hard work via the body and the mind.

I was a waitress for many, many years.  I met some of the most amazing people I have ever known while doing it.  Through that experience I realized we are all the same from doctors to mechanics, from artists to mothers, we all have the same worries and fears.  We all just want someone to listen and someone to love, to find a place where we can feel safe.  Sometimes life takes turns you are not prepared for, it's scary when it happens.  The only thing you can do is hold on tight  and learn to adapt.  I am still trying to figure this part out.

Always a work in progress.