Heart and Soul Intro

‘Heart and Soul’ is a photo installation project that was created to elevate the voices of some of Cincinnati’s amazing Black Womxn. These are Womxn who are working to help the community grow and heal. Inspired by the Black Lives Matter Movement I had to take a hard look at my own life and how I have subconsciously contributed to oppression and racism. With an open heart I started listening and learning as much as I could about how we can work to dismantle systematic racism. It hasn’t been easy. Racism is embedded in the consciousness of humanity. America was literally built on racism. This is a pill we all need to swallow even if it hurts going down. We need to be more than just allies to our brothers and sisters of color, we each need to be working diligently to tear down our old beliefs and create something new, a life that celebrates everyone equally, and lovingly.

Honour, Owner of BrowOTR

My art is about empowering Womxn and helping people heal. I had to ask myself some tough questions. One of the questions was, why aren’t Womxn of color represented in my work? I was so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t let anyone else in. By doing that, I was depriving myself and others of the beauty of a shared experience. As I was contemplating all of this, Artworks, an amazing art organization that creates powerful public art and employs artist of all ages, approached me to create a photo based project for them. This was the perfect opportunity for me to use art to help make the changes I hope to see in the world and in myself. Within a few days of being contacted I dreamed up ‘Heart and Soul’ and got to work right away.

Over the course of a month I photographed 18 Womxn. I connected with some of the Womxn through my own circle, and some by simply asking strangers I found via local business. A few of the Womxn connected me to their friends and this amazing chain of love became the link that tied the project together. Now, I have all of these beautiful new friends who I hope to stay connected to forever.

I heard stories from a Mother who went through years of depression because she feared her teenage son would be a victim of a police shooting just for being Black. I spoke with a Womxn who had to have a talk with their son at 6 years old about how he cannot go shirtless, or wear a hood, or put his hands in his pockets, she had to talk to him about what to do if a police officer ever questions him, about what to do if he ever gets pulled over when he is older. I listened to a Womxn tell me how she saw her mentally ill mother get beaten by police as a young child, and another young Womxn shared her experience with racism in what is thought to be a very liberal school. I listened to a very well educated Womxn tell me about growing up in a neighborhood that she was pushed out of and could no longer afford to move back to due to gentrification. I heard about the shockingly high mortality rate for Black infants/Mothers, because racism even exists in the medical field. One of the Womxn was worried about using her real name because she is afraid. These are just some of the stories I heard. Ask any Black Man or Womxn you know about how racism has effected them and I am positive they have a heartbreaking story to tell you.

These stories cannot be ignored anymore, they shouldn’t have ever been. We cannot create the change we need to make without looking at the truth. We have to understand that if some of us are hurting, we are all hurting. We are humans, we are family, we are brothers and sisters, we have to unite, we have to heal, together. It is beyond time we open our hearts to empathy.

When I share the photo stories over the next couple of weeks, I will be focusing on the healing and joy, but please keep in mind that the reason this healing has to happen is because of the pain created by racism. We are at a point where we all need to finally commit to do our part to end systematic racism. We have to have tough conversations about these truths, we have to speak up when we see it. We have to open up our worlds to unconditional love for everyone.

Crystal, owner of Grace and Grit and co-owner of Cream and Sugar Coffee

One of the benefits of creating a project with Artworks, is that I got to collaborate with 8 young artist on the final pieces. Teaching young artist is a passion of mine, so this was just perfect. I asked the artist to add their own art to the photos I took. It was a risky decision, I had no idea what the artist would create, but the results are better than I could have imagined. During the first week of the project I did a small presentation introducing the Womxn, with a brief talk about art as a healing tool. That theme stayed with us throughout the project. Some of the artist felt a personal connection via a common experience and that is how they chose the person they wanted to work on. This made everything even more personal and extra special for all of us.

A screenshot on my apprentices with Artist Annie Ruth

The Womxn I photographed have not seen the photos yet, I wanted to wait until the project wrapped up to start sharing some of the images. I only used one photo of each Womxn for the project, but I have so many more to share. Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing all of the extra photos I created. I hope you will tune in to help me celebrate these AMAZING WOMXN and to learn about the awesome things they are doing to make the world a more loving place. Once the project is installed I will post photos and map of locations so they can be seen in person. This project has been an absolute blessing for me. The gratitude I feel in my heart is endless. There are so many layers of love being revealed to me with each step in the process of creation. Thank you so much to everyone involved. <3

Diving Back In

I have not touched my blog since September. Do people still read blogs? Do we have the patience for it anymore? Instagram is where we scroll past 1000s of images barely stopping to digest anything, is that the way we consume photos now?

I still like to read words, I still like to sit with images and feel the feelings they invoke. I like seeing series of images. Because of that, I have decided it is time to dig back in. What better time than during a world wide stay at home order, right?!

I have a lot of work to share and a many stories to tell. Blogging requires me to sit with my thoughts and relive the emotion I felt when creating the images, I really need to do that right now. I have been moving at an usually fast pace lately, barely digesting anything, just creating, creating, creating. I want my images to be seen larger than what Instagram can provide, and I hope to engage people with the stories behind the images.

Before the pandemic I was already going through some major shifts in the direction my art and work were headed. Last year was the first year, without any restraint I decided to dive into art making and to create work that was directly from my heart. I said no to work that didn’t fit with me, I stepped back from weddings limiting myself to just 5. I received two FOTO FOCUS art grants, one being with Artworks to create larger than life photos of Womxn to put in alleys, I was even going to photograph my Mom for the project. The other was a grant for my first solo show created from photos taken on my birthday last year when 21 women joined me at my friend’s property to swim naked in a creek together while I photographed them. It was one of the most magical days of our lives, we created an unbreakable bond and very powerful images together. I will share those images soon. (The hard part about sharing those is the fact that I have 4 foot wide prints hanging out in my studio, after seeing images printed large, it is hard to surrender them to the digital realm.)

Like so many other people around the world, the pandemic changed my plans. FOTO FOCUS was cancelled, my solo show was cancelled, the project with Artworks was scrapped. Luckily, Artworks wanted to fulfill their promise to create a photo based project together (and to employ me for a month, something I am very grateful for) They contacted me right as the Black Lives Matter Movement was really gathering momentum. I decided without any hesitation to create a project that amplified and celebrated some of the amazing Black Womxn in my community. I wanted to use the platform/opportunity to help the community heal and educate myself in any way that I could. I had to take a hard look at my own life and consider how I have contributed to the problem of oppression and racism. I wanted to learn as much as possible about the personal experiences of the people I photographed, my camera has always been my greatest tool to do just that. We have so much work to do to undo a system that benefits few and opresses so many.

The Womxn shared very candidly with me and I listened with a wide open heart. I learned about their pain, their joy, and how they are helping the community heal. I appreciate their trust in me to tell their story. Tune in tomorrow as I introduce the project and over the next couple of weeks leading up to the public install as I will be introducing each Womxn and sharing some of their amazing images not featured in the installation.

Thank you again and again to Artworks for the support/encouragement and to FOTOFOCUS for funding this project.

Emily's Maternity Photos 35mm and Polaroid

Towards the end of pregnancy you start to slip into the liminal space between here and there. The veil is slowly lifted as you prepare to dig deep both physically and emotionally to bring your child into the world. It is a sacred space, one that deserves to be celebrated. T

Emily encouraged me to create from my heart, and she wanted lots of film. I brought a little bit of everything. I am dying over these psychedelic colors.

Emily and her boys

She is one of the most inspirational women I know. Every time I get a chance to photograph her and her sweet boys I leave with a full heart. These two little guys are much bigger now, just like the love she has for them.

I am still over here celebrating World Breastfeeding Week, I am still over here celebrating Mother’s Day. I am still over here celebrating You. Once the hashtags and celebratory posts are over, we are still mothering and feeding our children, loving and giving as much of ourselves as we can.

I have opened up space in my book this fall to dig deeper into portrait photography. I want to spend more time photographing all of the beautiful moments that make life divine. I would love to photograph more births, families, women in their power.

Miranda's Home Birth Story

The thread that binds us together as women, the link that is always there, (though sometimes we forget) became very clear to me during childbirth. It was my strength. It continues to become even more apparent to me each time I connect with a woman through her story. Photographing Miranda in her power, watching her push through pain, seeing her dig deep into the depths of herself, witnessing her birth into Motherhood, was an experience I will never forget. Women are amazing, I will say it over and over again. Child or not, we are all Mothers, the caretakers of the Earth. We have so much strength and it grows stronger when we connect with each other deeply via our shared personal experiences. We touch the Divine and the Divine touches us back.

Miranda gave me permission to share her birth experience, because she is proud of herself. She birthed a baby, she did it, no one else. She also wants her experience to help educate others. You have permission to take control of your birth, it is yours. Miranda’s birth team provided her support and reassurance during her birth. They gave her the space and energy she needed to know she had the power to give birth to her baby. They respected her wants and made sure she was safe.

Here is her birth story from my perspective…

It was a mild Friday night in February. I happened to be apart of an art show and the opening was going on. I had already heard from Miranda when she told me she was in labor, so I packed my camera bag to take with me to the opening. The gallery was closer to Miranda’s house than my own, I was ready to go when I got the call it was time for me to arrive. I hadn’t been this excited for a shoot in a long time. I was going to document a new life joining our world. What an absolute honor.

When I arrived, I was greeted by excited grandparents who were waiting patiently in the living area of the house. I slowly gathered my breath, said a prayer for Miranda, and went upstairs. The first thing I noticed is that it felt inviting walking up the stairs, the smells were wonderful, the room was dim, light music was playing. The perfect scenario to welcome Miranda and Brent’s daughter to her new home. Brent was rubbing Miranda’s feet, she had no idea I was there, until a bit later on when we made eye contact in between contractions.

I introduced myself to her Doula, and Midwives. I settled into the energy so that I could become apart of it. I realized with my own birth, that every person present at your birth has the potential to add or take away from the experience. Its very humbling to be trusted with an invitation to this sacred moment, I wanted to make sure to honor that.

When I met with Miranda and Brent to talk about working together, I asked how much of the birth she wanted photographed. I feel it is important to respect the wishes of the women I photograph and be very clear about expectations. She wanted me to capture exactly what I saw, every emotion, every surge, every push. She wanted to see her baby being born. Since Miranda gave birth at home, she had added freedom in her decisions about food/drink, positioning, and comfort choices. She was able to go from her own bed to the bathroom, to the pool pretty easily.

It wasn’t long after I got there that Miranda gave birth to her sweet baby girl. Mom, Dad, and baby got some snuggle time in bed before the grandparents got to meet the her. I noticed something that was very special when the grandparents came in…both grandmothers went to Miranda and hugged her first. What a beautiful way to pay respect to and honor Miranda’s Rite of Passage. It was her Birth day too and they respected that. Miranda’s Doula made her a nice meal while the Midwives changed her bed sheets and made it cozy for her. It was awesome watching everyone care for Mother and Child so deeply. I am grateful to have been part of such a wonderful group of women. Miranda is an inspiration to me, always. Her strength is something I will carry with me.

Her Doula was Annie Sweeney

Her Midwife Team was Women’s Wisdom Cincinnati

Greg and Dave's Neltner Farm Wedding

If you want to know what a dream wedding looks like for me, this is it. Of course , Greg and Dave had a beautiful venue, gorgeous flowers, and dapper suits. The food was great, the music kept people moving all night. It was perfect. But, for me the dream comes from creating a space in time where all of the people who love and support you come together and lift you up in their love.

These two men were part of the reason I am able to say 2018 was one of my absolute favorite wedding years to date. Their fun loving attitudes were an absolute pleasure to be around. Their wedding day was full of positivity and love. Everyone smiled, everyone had fun, everyone was ecstatic to be there and to send them soaring into their new life as a married couple feeling supported and celebrated.

Some Polaroids and 35mm film. I hand delivered these to the guys. It was so special being present to see their reaction, Polaroids are meant to be seen in person. Scans are nice, but nothing compares to the actually print.

Jacqui and Dan Cincinnati Art Museum Wedding

I first met Jacqui when we sat down for a meeting to go over the details of her wedding. As we talked I noticed she asked more questions about me than I did her. It wasn’t because she was trying to see if we were a fit. I think we both knew we would be before our meeting. Jacqui is the type of person who sincerely, without any reservations, cares about people. She is interested in stories. She makes everyone around her feel important. At her wedding I saw it even more. She tended to all of her family and friends in such a loving way. Dan, her husband was just as gracious when I met him on their wedding day.

This was one of my favorite weddings of 2018. I loved how open Jacqui and Dan were to any suggestion I had. My assistant, Dana and I were able to create very unique images this day.

Thank you to an amazing group of vendors, who made the day so special for the couple

Planner Maura Bassman Events Venue Cincinnati Art Museum Second Shooter Dana Rogers

Here are some of my favorite Polaroids from the day.

Emily's Maternity Photos

It was a dark winter day when I showed up at Emily’s home. I had no idea what I was going to do for her photos. Instead of overthinking or worrying about light, I surrendered to the moment. I found a comfortable place to work and talk and I let go. A lesson I have learned as a mother, as I pretend to control everything, is that nothing is under control. Surrendering to that is liberating. The birth of life, the birth of a creation requires more than anything else, Surrender. You must surrender to your self, surrender to every mother who came before you, surrender to the muses, you must learn to trust your body and your instincts. When you let go of control, the divine power that lives inside all of us, the stregth of every woman who came before you, has the space to guide you.

The Fields Family is Growing

The Fields family is growing even more. I am grateful to document these special milestones for them. We went back to the location of Joe and Kendal’s engagement session many years ago. Neltner’s Farm has one of the best fall festivals. We headed there on a weekday to avoid the crowd. Sweet August is 2, so we were celebrating so much that day. I love all of these natural moments we captured.

Kendal is one of the best mother’s I know. I am always asking her advice for toddler activities. She and August are constantly doing fun things, soon they will have another member of their adventure tribe. I cant wait to meet him or her soon.

See you again next month sweet family! <3