As I have been working through the Heart and Soul project there has been a voice that I have not talked about yet. It is a voice that is sometimes hard to hear. It is a voice that for me, is communicated through silence and prayer. The voice of the ancestors, of my great grandmother who has guided me, the grandmothers of the Womxn I photographed who brought their own signs to allow us to feel they were with us. Whether it was a flower that showed up to speak to me or a burning feeling in my blood that I could not shake, our ancestors were speaking through us. They want us to heal. They want us to make things right, to forgive ourselves and to find our way back to love.

As I sat down to write this I lit a candle for my Grandmother Mabel who has always been someone I could feel deeply when I needed her. I put on her animal print coat that usually just sits in my closet, and I asked her to give me strength. My heart has been so heavy as I have a tendency to carry the weight of the world. Boundaries are difficult for me, I have so much work to do, still. The one thing I can’t stop myself from doing is feeling other people’s pain and joy, sorrow and hope. My sister tells me the world is going to swallow me whole, sometimes I believe her. A dear friend reminded me yesterday, when you need help, ask for help. Our ancestors are there for us, they are waiting to be acknowledged.

When I described what to wear to our shoot to Crystal I simply said wear what makes you feel powerful. Crystal instinctively brought her Grandmother Lula’s dress to our shoot. She told me how she thinks about how beautiful she was wearing that dress at holiday gatherings. When she put it on, her own beauty blew me away. I could feel Lula’s power with us. Yesterday, Crystal sent me a photo of Lula in the dress. I opened it up today and lit a candle next to Grandma Mabel for for Lula. I closed my eyes and sent them so much gratitude for their guidance and love.

Here is a photo of Lula and some film photos of Crystal in Lula’s dress.